Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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