If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
In other news, I just burned my penis
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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