I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
