glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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