His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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