this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
of course. lets lasso hookers.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
