K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Randomize
