why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
