all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
