she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
This is my life. Enjoy the view
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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