She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
