we have officially lost it.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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