At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
