Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Randomize
