i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
