Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
smell my finger.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
