dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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