But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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