8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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