I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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