I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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