Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
