He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
