Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
