Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize