she was so not down for the gang bang
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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