i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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