Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
just come out here and I will go home with you...
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I supernannyed him into submission
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I did not marry a roomba.
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