this beer tastes like vomit already
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
