just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
