Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
