So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
