She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
