Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
