you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
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