Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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