smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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