U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
