hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
