Her vagina should come with caution tape.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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