i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
