Are we in a gay sports bar?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
