I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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