she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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