I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
