Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
