I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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