she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
