grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
