There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
