My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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