So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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