i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
