i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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