well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
