so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
