Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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