im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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