Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize
