i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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