I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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