Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
