I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
