i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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