somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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