It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
