So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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