So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
You work out of a Hotel?
Please, let me fuck your mom
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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