I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
