You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize