she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
