3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Randomize
