did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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