Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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