Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Randomize
